Journal Entry

Okay so this is a little goopy and little bit insane, but you have to look beyond the sentences and try to understand the meaning. I wrote it in my jornal, and decided that it would be okay to post. Don't judge it's personal:

To you my love,

If only I could reach you. Discover the hidden messaes of your heart. Make you mine. But your as untouchable as the cabin snowfall and silver snowflakes that make you up. I am ,however, not untouchable. I am here, perfectly settled in my home waiting . . . always waiting. Maybe this is childish drama. Teen lust and fantasty. Maybe I am one of the million like me but I strive, as they strive, to break down the barracks of my mind. A war wages on the frontier of my head. I am fighting always on the front line. And the war continues, always just touching the tip of my brain. And here I am, despite it all, waiting paitiently. For you. For the things that are unkown that I must bring to light. To pull you from the shadows. To reach you ,even though you will never be mine.  That is what a book is. Selfish. Not like anything human at all. It enwraps you and keeps you trapped forever, each sentence on the paper trapping and capturing you in that distilled moment. And yet I hold them close. Care for my books like friends. Because I know that is the closest to your heart I will ever get. And then I realize that is not your heart I'm holding it is the heart of another woman whom's desperate, dark wishes she has whispered into you. You are her. And to kill the book, to kill you, is to kill her dream. Her wish. Why did she create you? To ensnare me? To entertain? To send out a message? No. To bring to life and keep forever encoded secrets, hidden passions, shamed hopes, and wasted dreams. This is you my love. And still I love you. And still I'll forever wait for you. I cannot help myself. That is why I write. to whisper my passion unto my own. I love you always.
                                                                                           -Rose

P.S Hope you liked it. Hope you even understood it. Hope it totally didn't kill you and make you want to wretch and watch a scary movie it was so gushy hahah. Tell me what you think in the comments:p